Have you ever thought why don’t we feel the clothes on us except at the moment we put them on, and at the moment we take them off? As of between these two moments, during the hours it touches our body, we don’t feel it! Fact is, it is on you, it touches your skin, moves, flips, cover your chest, back, arms, yet, you feel nothing, as if it doesn’t exist.
Our relationships work the same way. A woman can be the same, you only feel her when you rush to have a relationship with her, or to get a date, or marry her. You enjoy your honeymoon, and fully feel her presence in your life. Though, once she is part of your life, same as these clothes you put on everyday, and although she warms your heart and support your back, she starts to be more like furniture you notice at home everyday, as expected, you find her at her place! Like a nice view you see from your window, excites you first time, then become the norm, later you totally forget about it.
Truth is, you will keep forgetting about her, till that moment when troubles arrises between both of you, and the relationship starts to swing from the cliff of breaking up, and you start taking her off your life, exactly like these clothes, at that exact moment, you start feeling her again, aggressively, and your whole world shakes from the fear of losing her.
The above words might be forwarded towards the men of us, but same situation happens with every woman out there.
The relationships that they call “Happy”, the marriage that they call “Stable”, where routine control everything, and a steady stable relation exist between the man and the woman, in a calm decent way, that perfect relationship, the feelings dies in it, and eventually, the fire between the couple starts to fade. And contrary to what people tend to convince you, such as that all women are the same, all men are the same, or that is how marriage functions, it is boring, or it is normal since you are staying with the same person all the time, or that you just need to go out and realise back again your oneness and personal life, and have fun with your friends and self, all these excuses, and advices, seems to be nonsense! Might help for short time, but it is just a top cream on a scoop of rotten ice-cream! what is the secret then?
It’s all in our sympathetic & nervous system chemistry!
They are made in a way that makes them feel only transitions, and not to feel steady states! Have you every thought about it? When you go out in the street, or open your windows and listen to the noise, you feel it! But the longer you listen to the noise, it starts to fade slowly. When you take the elevator, you only feel the moment it starts moving, and the moment it starts stopping. While the minutes you spend inside, you don’t feel it’s movement, as its continuously moving. We even call that “awkward moment of silence”! And when you look at the sun, it burns your eyes at the beginning, and your eyes keeps blinking, once you got accustomed, you keep staring, even though actually it is dangerous and it is hurting you. And your health & wellness, we tend only to feel it once we lose it, or get sick.
Have you ever spoke with a person who was sent to prison? they will all tell you that first few weeks are the hardest, as you start to notice losing your freedom, you lose weight, you get depressed, but after a while, you get accustomed, you start eating normal again, in fact, some people feel anxious and worried when they are about to finish their duty in jail!
Continuity, and steady states kill our feelings. Our sympathetic and nervous system can’t notice the actions that last long and run in a period of time. We are made of a larger mystery and we realise things at the moment they start to become mysterious.
We feel our wealth when we start losing it.
we feel our love when we lose it
if anything stays for long time in our hands without a change, we forget it exist!
If you think feeling bored from a couple, or a job is a bad thing, by now you should have realised that what is more dangerous is when you even don’t notice it! When you live in it, and you feel lost! The answer to any boredom in life, whether it is from a relationship or job, or maybe yourself, is change! Change in whatever elements constitute it, or in all elements!